Recently, I became friends with someone who went out of their way, at a very early stage in our acquaintance — during that delicate period when they could just as easily drift into being a stranger as they could into becoming a friend — to convey just how much they appreciated, how much they valued our time together.

It was, of course, something of a risk for them to do that, to make themselves vulnerable in such a way without knowing me well enough to know how I would react. But because they took that risk, I immediately knew that this was someone I wanted in my life, someone I would look forward to knowing better.

Now, granted, there is the possibility that I would have still come to that conclusion eventually, one day down the road, even if they hadn’t taken the time to express those feelings. It seems more likely to me, though, that, as is so often the case, we would have simply drifted apart before we managed to reach that point, before we managed to recognize that perhaps there was some benefit to our entering more fully into each other’s lives.

I wanted to share this today because there are so many similar instances, I think, of small-leap encounters like this one peppered throughout our days, those almost-didn’t-happen-moments which we’re quick to look back on with gratitude, glad that they did indeed happen, did indeed move from almost to actual. The challenge is learning how to come to terms with all of the moments we only half-finished, the moments in which something prevented us from doing something or saying something or asking something, the moments we’re quick to look back on with regret.

I wish I had a roadmap of some kind to give you, one complete with instructions on how to move from the almost-wasn’t to the thankfully-was. I don’t, though, nor do I think that one exists, but it’s my hope that even just this brief reminder of how much there is to be gained will be enough to encourage more of us to take those small leaps.

I hope it will encourage more of us to embrace those momentarily awkward pauses so characteristic of early acquaintanceship, the ones where you’re both just sort of standing around, timid in your uncertainty, until finally someone ventures to say, you know, maybe we should make plans to meet for coffee.

Waving from my desk,
– J